Hello guys and dolls enter if you dare, this post may be slightly risque but I am just really feeling some type of way and I need to get it off my chest!
So this whole single thing is a trip! Its like one part of you is so elated that you have time for yourself and nothing is holding you back, and then you see those God awful kissy face couples that make you want to blow your brains out.
No I am not saying that I want a relationship, and I am not even here to talk about how disgusting the people in relationships are (jealous much?) Ok maybe just a little but dear Lord do you really need to hold hands everywhere, or share sweet kisses when you know everyone is looking or just be so damn happy! I hate you all..... Ok not hate because if I was in your shoes I would probably be the same way! SO truly from the bottom of my heart I hope that you are happy with your loved ones and never find out that he (or hey in these times she) is sleeping with the "babysitter"! LOL Just playing......or am I?
Ok so now that i have shown how.... well i would say bitter but i would never admit that about myself...... so I will say caring..... HAHAHA.... yeah, now that I have shown how caring i am I would like to paint a little picture for you.
Ok so yesterday I was having this conversation with a guy who was explaining to me how his relationship was going awry or went awry and he is no longer in a relationship,and it was so sad because you could tell he is one of those guys that likes being in relationships you know a serial monogamist, which I cant really hold that against him because I used to be that way too. So anyway he is asking me for advice on why this girl broke up with him and what he should do.
First of all I have no clue why a$$holes do what they do! It puts me in a bind because sometimes when i am listening to these stories i just kinda sit there with the o_O face thinking about something that is not going over my head..... Like seriously what am I supposed to say? and not just to relationship questions but anything... for example
Them: so what does it mean if she broke up with me but she still calls me everyday
Me (ok one or two things come to mind the nice version and the real version, the nice version goes a little something like this) Well maybe she is just confused and she wants to get back with you but doesn't know how!
the real version that would probably hurt someones feelings would be: Dude she is just keeping you in her back pocket in case the dude she is up under right now doesn't work out!
(ok i probably shouldn't say that but its true!
Just think about it. Anytime you are the person who is doing the break up odds are you have somebody in mind or you have met someone and want to see where it could go!
Its a cruel reality but not very many people like being alone. People focus so much on being in relationships or having someone that they put up with an obscene amount of bullsh@& just so they have a warm body to sleep next to at night or they can gloat to there single friends that hmmmmph I got a man! Yeah you have a man alright but you are back burner sweetie, and at least in my single world I am always number 1.
But I digress.......... we began talking about how strange it is that people who are serial monogamists never really link up with each other! There are some people that are born with a relationship gene and odds are they don't run into those types. I hear a lot of married people or engaged people talking and the one thing they have in common is "I thought I was never going to get married, I didn't really want to but when I met so and so it just clicked)
Meanwhile the rest of us are bashing are brains in trying to figure out why nothing is clicking for us!
In a landslide victory I have voted myself expert on the matter and here is the stitch!
I believe its because people want people so badly they will settle for anything. But eventually you realize it wasn't what you wanted but instead of letting go the other person gets tired of you and disposes of you like a used up snot rag.
The truth is that if a person really wants you they would do everything in their power to keep you. Think about it! Do you know any man that just wants other men having an opportunity to stake claim on their Woman's heart mind or time, or vice-versa? HECKY NAW!!!!!!
In love we are all greedy and its ok to admit that! Its a beautiful thing to be able to feel like you cant get enough of a persons conversation or presence or whatever else comes along with being in a relationship.
But the thing for those of us that are not.......... You cant allow a person to use you up... no matter how dope the prospect!
I have been this girl once, going out on dates for dating sake, showing someone a little favor or just showing the wrong person just how special you are and it never works out right!
Either I know that nothing will come of it but they dont! Serious feelings are developed for a person that you really are just not compatible with, or friendships are ruined because you crossed the friendship line.
Even when you are meeting someone new......
Lets say they are beautiful face and body, mind seems cool, heart you aren't sure of.... now this brings me to my title!
Does he really want to know what makes you tick or is he more interested in ticking you?
If he only calls you late at night he just wants to tick
If all he ever brings up is ticking.... he just wants to tick
If you don't know his birthday his mothers name or where he went to school but you do know and he has emphatically told you his shoe size, his stamina drive and he only compliments your body... he definitely only wants to tick.
And just because he is cute has money or power does not mean you need to entertain this foolishness! Having standards is not a bad thing. Yeah I know we are seeing a lot of these women out here who objectify themselves and allow people to objectify them, getting chose, but how miserable must that be to only be viewed as a play thing. Whats going to happen when you are used up? We see it all the time, A fresher model always comes in and there is no amount of surgery that stops you from getting older. This is not Death Becomes Her, and there is no magic potion.
But when someone is interested in finding out what makes you tick, they are interested with everything you do, will read whatever you write and bring it up to you, they want to brag about all of your awesome qualities, not even your body! Matter of fact a good man wants to keep that all for himself. He could here you talk for hours without the need to get inebriated first, or keep you laughing because he loves the way you turn red when you giggle. They want to watch the way you chew they think when you cry its beautiful but they don't ever want to be the reason you do unless its one of those "its so beautiful" cries. They will do what it takes to have you no matter where in the world you are..... that is real.
And I would rather spend a lifetime happy with myself until I find that something that is real than be in a relationship with a person that I will most likely grow to hate and waste my precious time.
The craziest thing is when I say this people look at me like I am crazy! "What you aren't gonna do xy&z.... that's how you find out if we are compatible" ( Are you kidding me right now, did that horses&it just spew out of your mouth?...ok no thank you,......NEXT)
Or...
"Well I think its naive to think you wont deal with bullsh!& from your partner you just have to know which s*&t you can handle.... and I'm sorry but all men chea" ( excuse me I'm sorry please get the hell out of my face right now!
I know relationships have problems but if the whole cheating thing is the truth kill me now! Just because most might, I don't excuse it, pardon it, or let it go unnoticed, and I damn sure am not putting up with it!
Hold on to your standards people! Either force people to step up to the plate or leave their a$$es alone. Why would you drag yourself down in the mud when odds are you are way better than that.
Please for the Love of God!~..>>>>>STOP TICKING FOR TICKING'S SAKE!
SOMEONE GREAT WILL COME ALONG THAT IS WORTH YOUR TIME AND WORTH THE WAIT!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Its Been Awhile!!!!!!
Well hello blog world and all that visit to say hello, I have a message! You may not want to hear it but guess what? (I dont give a damn) HAHAHA!
Ok so I know I have been neglecting you all for a few months (please dont bite my head off, my sister and others have already done it for me!) Thats right I am headless at the computer right now.... unbelievable right! Somebody call Oprah we have a story! Oh ..... wait ..... she is not on the air anymore (damn I missed everything)
Well anyway a lot has sure happened to me and I feel I am getting closer to my goal! I have been staying positive most of the time but there are still days where I would rather lie in the bed! I think its because I dont have enough to do! Its crazy! I am one of those people that can run off of a few hours sleep when I am doing what I love but cant move a muscle to rouse myself out of bed when I am doing something that is just.......well....boring!
So as to not bore you I will try and make my dull life and dull opinions as exciting as possible.
So I have tried so hard to forget Lord Voldemort...... anyone that knows me and the "situatiom" think about it, it fits! And for some reason he keeps appearing in my dreams. The funny thing is where in the daytime I close my eyes and feel a pang of hurt at night when I dream I am just utterly pissed off! Like seriously I think I have problems. On more than a handful of occasions I have cursed him out, beat him up, and I am always super disgusted anytime I see his face! Like vomit worthy! (that has also started happening when I am awake) I think I just want to purge him from everything in my existence! I am lucky I dont have any gifts from him that reminds me! Well except for this spine adjuster thingy ( I know right) what kind of gift is that! I guess its the thought but its like geez what were you thinking! Im not 70 years old Im' no hump back! Shoot I am a young 25 very agile and active and have more energy in my pinky than he ever had....................well nevermind! Lets just say I am not an old maid! But I realize that I started to act like one.
Life is super short! Celebrating my birthday made me realize that! If God blesses me to see 100 then my life is already a quarter over! That is scary! My mom just celebrated 50 and she looks great but I wonder what she thinks about looking back! its a blink of an eye! My 25 years sneaked up on me and I imagine 50 feels the same way when you are a young fiery spirit! That's why I am not wasting time with anyone! Male, female young or old ...no one is above getting the boot!
For instance I met this girl who was really nice! She is the kindest sweetheart in the world honestly but whenever she starts to talk everything negative that she has ever experienced in her life comes pouring out! Come ON!!!!!! Nobody wants to hear that EVERY TIME they talk to you! I mean when I tell a horrible story I try to end it on a light note like finding the silver lining or the lesson learned which makes the situation more palatable but after I talk to her I just feel like slitting my wrist, needless to say I think she is a danger to my health.
SO I'm so sorry boo but you gotta go! Maybe every so often I will shoot you a text but I just cant handle all the drama I have enough of my own!
Speaking of drama some crazy azy things have happened! First of all the Bastard had the nerve to text me on my birthday and remind me to wish my good friends daughter happy birthday too! Ummmmmmm could you please just scram! I was enjoying that you were all the way out of my life! Its really pissing me off that all of our mutual friends are now calling me reminding me and even suggesting that there may be a future for he and I! You are kidding right.....im teetering between homicide and amnesia and you want to fuel that fire? Please dont catch someone else's butt whooping! But fyi for those of you that do read my blog and know our situation it would behoove you to just shut the.......well you know the rest!
SO I have been doing a bit of traveling working on music and making connections and it seems that some things might take off! I dont know when or where But I am chomping at the bit! I miss the stage sooooooooo Bad! Performing at this years Tupac event in Atl at the symphony hall was enough to wet my appetite but I am just eager to get back into the swing of things. However this writing thing is working out nicely. I hope you all have caught a few of my articles.
Its weird seeing your name your words sometimes even your pictures in print! Conducting interviews and reporting stories takes some getting used to, but its still a small stage and I like being on it!
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to be involved in a black publishers convention! My boss kind of volunteered my services to help out but it was cool! I learned a lot!
Like for instance......people do not read, if you are young and pretty you will attract an old geezer, and there is a shelf life for big hair, long nails and loud makeup!
It really bothered me being in a room full of so called writers that could not read a damn sign!
Them:"excuse me where is registration?"
Me "well sir if you swivel your lazy a$$ head to the left you will see a big red and yellow sign that has in BIG BOLD BLACK LETTERING "REGISTRATION" (Ok I didnt really say that but man I wanted to. had some of the dumbest questions that day.
Me: "yes can I get your lunch ticket?
Them: "which one is that?
Me: The one with todays date on it that says lunch"
Or another conversation
Me: can I get your meal ticket?
Th:em: Oh I dont have one
Me well have you registered?
Them: No
Me: well you have to register before I can allow you in
Them: you mean to tell me I cant eat without a meal ticket?
(WTF did i just say! I wanted to be like NO DUMMY!!!!)
Or (and this was the killer)
Short fat lady walks into the first meeting and immediately goes to the refreshment table
Me: Im sorry maam but we are not serving the refreshments just yet
Her:*smacks teeth* Well they usually let us get the refreshments early
Me: Well I apologize but these refreshments are for the meeting, are you here for the meeting?
Her: Ummm well my meeting starts at 2
Me: Well these are for the meeting that starts at 10.....
So she waddles away grumbling under her breath! I wanted to snatch her by the hair and kick her in her fat stomach, but she didn't have enough hair to execute the "grab and fling" properly.
But the thing that blew me the most was the fact that after the meeting was underway she came in and got some refreshments anyway and put them in her purse! I wanted to Napoleon Dynamite her a$$ and stomp her purse but I was across the room and couldnt reach her!
Now I am by no means a child, I am a young adult. However if you are over the age of 40 or lets be super real over the age of 35 I am gonna need you to keep on walking because I am NOT talking to you! There was this man with a cookie starter kit trying to be all up in my face and All I kept thinking was are those dentures or caps) either way they were big and hella bright! And it made his pedophile grin that much more creepy! But anyway he is all in my face talking about how he needs a woman like me and then some lady comes up to him and says....hey so and so how is your wife and kids? Immediately he gets flustered and carts her away to have the conversation in private. WTF hahahaha BUSTED!!!!!
Its really sickening to walk by a pack of old men and hear them grunt and sigh and mmmmmmm yuck! I really wish I could have just choked them all out!Its like how perverse can you be... half of you have wife and kids and children older than me! I am so not above busting the knee caps of an old man! Seriously sisters watch out for your girls! There are some old a$$ rattlesnakes trying to get in a very young garden! (Gross)
And lets talk about these old a$$ women that cant let it go! I hate when I see women over 50 even over 40 dressing like they are coming from the club! The young girls dont look great when they do it but at least their boobies werent around in the time of Nixon! Please cover those up! And I was seeing that everywhere! There was this one woman who had more hair than I have ever seen in life! She bought out the beauty supply with all that was on her head! I know it had to be heavy..... It was wild and big and covered half of her face which if it wasn't caked up with makeup I probably would be even more upset. But this chick seriously looked like a shrunken head.
Her nails were no picnic either! THey looked like coco from SWV! Which I have always wondered how do women wipe themselves with long nails like that?! UGH I dont know and they had the nerve to be blood red! Then her face was so caked up with makeup I thought it was peeling off the way it was catching in her many wrinkles! And she had the nerve to have on coral lipstick with blue eyeshadow! I was so done! Just let it go......
Times like these I am grateful that I have the mother I have! SHe is classy elegant and getting older with grace. She looks so young and I feel blessed to have her genes! But I know that in order to maintain that you have to stay away from those things that are bad for you.
This doesnt start when you are in your 50s or 40s it starts now! Otherwise we can all end up looking like______________
Ok so I know I have been neglecting you all for a few months (please dont bite my head off, my sister and others have already done it for me!) Thats right I am headless at the computer right now.... unbelievable right! Somebody call Oprah we have a story! Oh ..... wait ..... she is not on the air anymore (damn I missed everything)
Well anyway a lot has sure happened to me and I feel I am getting closer to my goal! I have been staying positive most of the time but there are still days where I would rather lie in the bed! I think its because I dont have enough to do! Its crazy! I am one of those people that can run off of a few hours sleep when I am doing what I love but cant move a muscle to rouse myself out of bed when I am doing something that is just.......well....boring!
So as to not bore you I will try and make my dull life and dull opinions as exciting as possible.
So I have tried so hard to forget Lord Voldemort...... anyone that knows me and the "situatiom" think about it, it fits! And for some reason he keeps appearing in my dreams. The funny thing is where in the daytime I close my eyes and feel a pang of hurt at night when I dream I am just utterly pissed off! Like seriously I think I have problems. On more than a handful of occasions I have cursed him out, beat him up, and I am always super disgusted anytime I see his face! Like vomit worthy! (that has also started happening when I am awake) I think I just want to purge him from everything in my existence! I am lucky I dont have any gifts from him that reminds me! Well except for this spine adjuster thingy ( I know right) what kind of gift is that! I guess its the thought but its like geez what were you thinking! Im not 70 years old Im' no hump back! Shoot I am a young 25 very agile and active and have more energy in my pinky than he ever had....................well nevermind! Lets just say I am not an old maid! But I realize that I started to act like one.
Life is super short! Celebrating my birthday made me realize that! If God blesses me to see 100 then my life is already a quarter over! That is scary! My mom just celebrated 50 and she looks great but I wonder what she thinks about looking back! its a blink of an eye! My 25 years sneaked up on me and I imagine 50 feels the same way when you are a young fiery spirit! That's why I am not wasting time with anyone! Male, female young or old ...no one is above getting the boot!
For instance I met this girl who was really nice! She is the kindest sweetheart in the world honestly but whenever she starts to talk everything negative that she has ever experienced in her life comes pouring out! Come ON!!!!!! Nobody wants to hear that EVERY TIME they talk to you! I mean when I tell a horrible story I try to end it on a light note like finding the silver lining or the lesson learned which makes the situation more palatable but after I talk to her I just feel like slitting my wrist, needless to say I think she is a danger to my health.
SO I'm so sorry boo but you gotta go! Maybe every so often I will shoot you a text but I just cant handle all the drama I have enough of my own!
Speaking of drama some crazy azy things have happened! First of all the Bastard had the nerve to text me on my birthday and remind me to wish my good friends daughter happy birthday too! Ummmmmmm could you please just scram! I was enjoying that you were all the way out of my life! Its really pissing me off that all of our mutual friends are now calling me reminding me and even suggesting that there may be a future for he and I! You are kidding right.....im teetering between homicide and amnesia and you want to fuel that fire? Please dont catch someone else's butt whooping! But fyi for those of you that do read my blog and know our situation it would behoove you to just shut the.......well you know the rest!
SO I have been doing a bit of traveling working on music and making connections and it seems that some things might take off! I dont know when or where But I am chomping at the bit! I miss the stage sooooooooo Bad! Performing at this years Tupac event in Atl at the symphony hall was enough to wet my appetite but I am just eager to get back into the swing of things. However this writing thing is working out nicely. I hope you all have caught a few of my articles.
Its weird seeing your name your words sometimes even your pictures in print! Conducting interviews and reporting stories takes some getting used to, but its still a small stage and I like being on it!
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to be involved in a black publishers convention! My boss kind of volunteered my services to help out but it was cool! I learned a lot!
Like for instance......people do not read, if you are young and pretty you will attract an old geezer, and there is a shelf life for big hair, long nails and loud makeup!
It really bothered me being in a room full of so called writers that could not read a damn sign!
Them:"excuse me where is registration?"
Me "well sir if you swivel your lazy a$$ head to the left you will see a big red and yellow sign that has in BIG BOLD BLACK LETTERING "REGISTRATION" (Ok I didnt really say that but man I wanted to. had some of the dumbest questions that day.
Me: "yes can I get your lunch ticket?
Them: "which one is that?
Me: The one with todays date on it that says lunch"
Or another conversation
Me: can I get your meal ticket?
Th:em: Oh I dont have one
Me well have you registered?
Them: No
Me: well you have to register before I can allow you in
Them: you mean to tell me I cant eat without a meal ticket?
(WTF did i just say! I wanted to be like NO DUMMY!!!!)
Or (and this was the killer)
Short fat lady walks into the first meeting and immediately goes to the refreshment table
Me: Im sorry maam but we are not serving the refreshments just yet
Her:*smacks teeth* Well they usually let us get the refreshments early
Me: Well I apologize but these refreshments are for the meeting, are you here for the meeting?
Her: Ummm well my meeting starts at 2
Me: Well these are for the meeting that starts at 10.....
So she waddles away grumbling under her breath! I wanted to snatch her by the hair and kick her in her fat stomach, but she didn't have enough hair to execute the "grab and fling" properly.
But the thing that blew me the most was the fact that after the meeting was underway she came in and got some refreshments anyway and put them in her purse! I wanted to Napoleon Dynamite her a$$ and stomp her purse but I was across the room and couldnt reach her!
Now I am by no means a child, I am a young adult. However if you are over the age of 40 or lets be super real over the age of 35 I am gonna need you to keep on walking because I am NOT talking to you! There was this man with a cookie starter kit trying to be all up in my face and All I kept thinking was are those dentures or caps) either way they were big and hella bright! And it made his pedophile grin that much more creepy! But anyway he is all in my face talking about how he needs a woman like me and then some lady comes up to him and says....hey so and so how is your wife and kids? Immediately he gets flustered and carts her away to have the conversation in private. WTF hahahaha BUSTED!!!!!
Its really sickening to walk by a pack of old men and hear them grunt and sigh and mmmmmmm yuck! I really wish I could have just choked them all out!Its like how perverse can you be... half of you have wife and kids and children older than me! I am so not above busting the knee caps of an old man! Seriously sisters watch out for your girls! There are some old a$$ rattlesnakes trying to get in a very young garden! (Gross)
And lets talk about these old a$$ women that cant let it go! I hate when I see women over 50 even over 40 dressing like they are coming from the club! The young girls dont look great when they do it but at least their boobies werent around in the time of Nixon! Please cover those up! And I was seeing that everywhere! There was this one woman who had more hair than I have ever seen in life! She bought out the beauty supply with all that was on her head! I know it had to be heavy..... It was wild and big and covered half of her face which if it wasn't caked up with makeup I probably would be even more upset. But this chick seriously looked like a shrunken head.
Her nails were no picnic either! THey looked like coco from SWV! Which I have always wondered how do women wipe themselves with long nails like that?! UGH I dont know and they had the nerve to be blood red! Then her face was so caked up with makeup I thought it was peeling off the way it was catching in her many wrinkles! And she had the nerve to have on coral lipstick with blue eyeshadow! I was so done! Just let it go......
Times like these I am grateful that I have the mother I have! SHe is classy elegant and getting older with grace. She looks so young and I feel blessed to have her genes! But I know that in order to maintain that you have to stay away from those things that are bad for you.
This doesnt start when you are in your 50s or 40s it starts now! Otherwise we can all end up looking like______________
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