I'm The Worst Damn Blogger That Ever Lived!

Seriously who the hell do I think I am for even having a blog! I started this shit last year thinking "Oh Lovely I am going to talk about all the wonderful things in my life and be witty and funny and downright unabashedly amusing and blah blah blah" When really the whole purpose was because I wanted to stick it to my bastard of an ex and Make him jealous over the awesome life I was living. You know what? That shit takes too much time. I started out feeling great! Getting pumped up by my peanut gallery and my mom, (especially my mom) I have to love that woman she swears up and down that I am going to be the next great novelist and that this blog would of lead to book deals and T.V. appearances like the damn movie Julie and Julia. But alas, Eventually he wasn't even a thought and go figure I didn't care enough to even waste my breath by calling him a bastard. Also I am lazy, and really damn paranoid and I just got sick of writing censored! The reality is I curse, and I have always been taught to have this pristine facade to the outward public but I am human and I have faults. I was so sick of thinking of clever ways to say that bastard was a bastard (oh that man was an unpleasant person) Ugh! Just gag me now! No one wants to read that shit! I don't want to read that shit! So why was I writing that shit. I know by saying bastard and shit and damn in this post I am taking a risk, and may quite possibly shame my entire name! But being perfect is exhausting and honestly its not possible or real. You show me a anyone who thinks they are perfect and put them in a room with a real sarcastic asshole and see if they still come out pristine! Odds are those insecurities that they masked so well will be on their damn sleeve and they will be questioning everything about themselves. Now I in no way want to go off the deep end and begin being this brash person who alleviates all intellect from her vocabulary and replaces it with crude humor, but I do want to have the freedom to write how I feel and if I want to say shit, then shit I am going to say it! The thing about these social media's or the internet is it gives you a false sense of belonging and a false perception of the person everyone thinks you are. And while that is all well and good being you is better. So humor me, I may not be all that you imagined but I am exactly what I am! And if this kind of material offends you then by all means don't read it! But if you love it then welcome to the journey of a real life human being who is just trying to survive the peaks and valleys of life until she is inevitably 6 feet under ground food for the worms!