I cant believe it has already been a month since I have headed out on this journey! I'm not gonna lie, there are some things that I said I was going to do that I haven't (like working out) LOL I have done a little here and there but I am not as consistent as I would like to be! And in any situation consistency is key! However in my defense I have been moving nonstop it seems! Traveling like Carmen Sandiego! I just got back from Charlottesville Virginia, and right before that was saviors day and right before that was all stars in LA so you get the picture!
Don't worry I will do better.... that's not for anyone reading this, that is for me because I really do need to do better.
Anyway I have had the opportunity to really become even closer with my family over this past month and I am loving it! Its really funny now that I look at it that in my past relationship I devoted so much time to his family I neglected my own! And now that we are no longer together do you think his family cares to pees and a tripod about me ( I wonder how many people will get this lyric LOL) well the answer to that is they sure don't give a ding dang dong!
I will say however that I truly made a lasting friendship with 1 and for that I am really grateful! Its not everyday you meet someone that will really truly be your friend but she is really a wonderful woman, mother, and friend! I am so grateful to have met her.....
So the past week was awesome and I am so happy it has been all with family! My sis turns the big 21 this weekend so we will most definitely be having a good time...... haven't been out on a date date since LA but that's cool I am not really looking, and I landed a job that is by far beyond my wildest dreams! I wont go into detail about it all however I will say that my writing skills will be working for me because I will be writing for a newspaper! The time will come when I will divulge what I am writing as well as which newspaper I will be writing for!
Apparently I have made some men mad with my quest to find my own inner peace! I am not giving them a "fair chance" and I am limiting myself to the "experience"! Well to that I say oh damn well! You know, I have been in relationships and talked to men, and it truly baffles me that when I decide I am sick of it they get annoyed with me for backing down when they have not stepped to the plate! I am not talking about anyone in particular... but lets think about this! Do you really think that I would be doing this if by now I had met a real man who not only treated me like a woman but like a lady and was down for me like I am always down for them?
NO I WOULD BE MARRIED SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!
But instead I run into these dudes that are all promises and unfortunately all inaction as well!
"Oh baby you are beautiful" thanks I know
"Man I'm gonna make you wifey" Uh huh whateva Nig** where is the ring?
"I only want to be with you" Ummmm so then who the hell are you texting at 11:30 at night!!!?
UGH I hate it! Men can say some of the sweetest things and get your hopes up and when you fall for the BS the chase is over and unfortunately so is the relationship or whatever you thought it was that it clearly was not!
So now that I am not looking not hoping for all of a sudden the conquests begin again!
MEN why is the chase all that is important to you! and why must you be the one victorious? Don't you know you hurt a lot of women this way... who for the most part are good and decent and do just want to be loved and treated with dignity and respect! Why are you letting her sacrifice all her good on you when you know you are just a slime ball who only wants the panties! Stop it already!
Also, why are men so enamored with the idea of getting you to want them sexually! (this really shows the state of the world we are in) I think I have heard more of the oh I wanna (excuse the graphic nature of this readers I am just being honest) ,,,, I wanna taste you , UGH, girl I'm a beast.... I can make you feel good! (And you know this is the pg13 version of all that is really said) But SERIOUSLY I AM NOT A BI*TH IN HEAT!!!! SO stop treating me like that! Whatever happened to the conversations that were like whats your favorite color, who is you favorite author, what do you like to cook, what do you like cooked for you? (HELLO)
I want someone to know that I don't care about whats under there, that is human nature,... the nature of the beast anyway! We all know that's how the hell we got here and we don't need reminding of that act every 5 seconds! SO to all the men I have given the icy stare or never called back or never accepted your calls again...... You now know why! And honestly you are lucky I didn't tell my daddy on you LOL!
I am a decent strong woman, I have my faults but I don't throw stones in my glass house. I may have had some flubs but I know my heart is in the right place! So excuse me for taking a break from the medieval torture these men think they are providing hiding it behind the mask of love!
I am waiting and I will take huge comfort in the unconditional love of my family and real friends that keep me standing when I want to buckle and cry!
This time .... Its just not going to happen!
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