Day 5 and 6 (WOWZERZ!)

I am grouping these days together because lets face it ever since day 4 everything has been kind of running together!.
This weekend was quite possibly the longest weekend of my life, but not in a good way! I cant really go into detail of everything that happened but I am just really thankful everyone pulled through! Kya you are my rock for real I don't think I would have gotten through this weekend without you.
Everything really does happen for a reason and its amazing that God is always giving you signs. Now you don't have to believe me if you don't want, but his warnings are so real! HE gives you a warning every time you are dealing with anything, but it is what you do with that warning that can either save you from destruction or give you complete peace.
While I appreciate that God has blessed me with a kind heart often times I wish that my stern mind would put a leash on it and steer it the other way. There is nothing wrong with not helping someone if it is going to damage you.
I can say I do go out of my way to make sure the people around me are straight! Even if I spend my last dollar. But after this weekend I noticed that those people who I thought would be there for me in my time of need ( and It was really hectic) were no where to be found! I just don't understand it..... I have invested so much in these so called friends and as I was going through it there was no one really that I felt like i could just reach out to, and those that I did reach out to were unavailable. Well what if I was unavailable when your loved one died! You probably would have lost your mind. Or when you were contemplating suicide, you wouldn't even be here to be occupied, or when you had no where to go and I let you sleep in my house, or you had no money and couldn't feed your mouth! Its like all these people call me when they need something but when I truly need them no one is there!
I am so thankful for my family they really show love and care no matter what. No matter what you are going through with your family let that shit go ... Life is too short and you cant rely on these bastards out here claiming they love you or that they are your friend so I'm gonna ride with my family to the very end! Everyone else if you get the cold shoulder you know why! ( load it , cock it, aim it baby, boom bye bye) I'm done.
Its really hard when you know you are a good person ( and I know you shouldn't say it yourself because it makes you seem cocky) BUT EFF THAT! I am a good person and I treat people with kindness love and respect, and if being a decent human being means that you have to travel this world alone then so be it! Because I am sick of the leeches that surround me! I'm burning the heads off, the blood flow has been cut, there is no more of my life essence for you!
Normally right now I would be all haughty getting myself prepared for a single Valentine's day. But I am just so happy God gave me this horrible situation so I could see people for who they really are. So at least I know now who really has love for me and who does not! And I wont be wasting this special (commercialized) holiday with someone that is just there for the chocolate and some company! I will be with my family. The people who truly have my heart! And I am so thankful that they will treat it like I know it should be treated because I will do the same for them! And that is real love ( Unlike Mary J) I don't need to go searching for it!